Wayward Son Kitap Alıntıları – Rainbow Rowell

“He doesn’t usually talk like that — about magic. About us. About future. I can’t help but smile at him. I hate everything about this road trip, but if it’s going to keep drawing Simon out of his shell, I’d gladly drive to hawaii.”

You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.
I’d wake up every morning and tell myself
This will end in flames.

Why would you live somewhere that
seemed to be doing its best to tell you to go away?

He looks disgusted with me—but
also a little curious. I used to share a room with that look.

I’d give him all that I am.
I’d give him all that I was.
I’d open up a vein.
I’d tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber.

“I should hunt. So we don’t have to stop again.”
“Not by yourself,” Simon says.
“I’m not letting you watch—”
Simon spreads his wings. “Not by yourself.”

You were the sun and I was crashing into you.

“Not to you; you grew up in a mansion.”
“I grew up at the top of a tower,” I say. “With you.”

You just never know when someone’s going to make you feel bad
about what you are.

“I don’t really fit in here, but I don’t fit in any
better anywhere else.”

Bad things happen, and then they stop; but they keep on wreaking havoc inside of people.

What if he has a gun? I ask.
I’ll sit behind him and break his neck if I have to.
I frown at Baz. Do you know how to break someone’s neck? I should show you before we get in the car.

Go ahead and shoot me. This isn’t my favourite shirt.

I’d tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber.

when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Wht can’t you just admit that you’d be happier here?
I raise my voice: Why can’t you see that I wouldn’t be happy anywhere without you?

It feels good to think about.
It feels like- shit, I’m crying. It feels awful, but it feels clean.

I had this idea about America
That I’d find myself here.
That’s why people get in a convertible and hit the road without a map. That’s the promise. That you’ll finally see yourself when you don’t recognize the scenery.

There’s no saving me. Everything I am is already gone.

Go ahead and shoot me. This isn’t my favourite shirt.

There’s no magic here, but that’s okay- there’s no magic left in me.
I’ll take one more when I go. When I get up. And go down.
I’ll take at least one more.
For Agatha. And Penelope.
For
Simon
Baz!

Simon, Simon
You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.
I’d wake up every morning and tell myself
I’d tell myself
He doesn’t know how much I love him. He’s never really heard it.
I’d wake up every morning and tell myself
Simon love get up. We still have to save Agatha.
Simon is on the ground.
This will end in flames.

You really think you’Re the superior model, the next step on the evolutionary ladder And you can’t even cope with a teenage Bleeder? (I’m twenty two, but I decide not to interrupt him.)

How have I lived through so many happy endings without ever learning how to save the day?

Simon pokes my ear with his wing.
I shrug him off.
He snaps his wing to shove me back.
For Crowley’s sake, Snow! It’s like being caged in with a bear!

Every time Simon moves, he clips me with his wing. I keep shrugging him off. And then he pushes back, like I’m the one bothering him.

Fighting doesn’t feel good anymore. It feels like breaking something because you don’t know how to fix it.

Those fights used to feel so good. It meant getting to look at Snow. Getting his attention. Having a place to hurl all my feelings for him, even if they came out spiked and razor sharp.

He doesn’t know what I am, Simon gloats.
A fool hardy oaf? Baz says. I think he got that, actually.
You wouldn’t call me that if I’d rescued you!
I didn’t need rescuing! Baz hisses. I was getting to him. He was listening.
More like you were listening, Simon says. While he told you a bunch of fairy tales about vampires saving princess and slaying dragons.
For the last time, Simon Snow, only a depraved savage would slay a dragon!
I wasn’t trying to kill it!

I turn to Penelope, sitting next to me on an antique loveseat. You’re not worried about being poisoned? Or scalded?
I’ll be worry after I have my tea, she replies.

Lamb frowns some more. How can you be friends with mages? They hate us.
We grew up together, Penelope explains. We didn’t know Baz was a vampire for years.
I knew, Simon says.
Baz shakes his head, rolling his eyes. Literally nothing you say is helpful.
Lamb looks right through Simon. Did you grow up with them, too, invisible boy?

Lamb nods and looks over Baz’s shoulder, where Simon is disturbing atmosphere. And what is this?
His boyfriend! Simon snearls.
Baz covers his face.

What part of ‘thumbs-up’ don’t you people understand?
Simon shouts back. What part of ‘Don’t leave with him’ don’t you understand?

Finally I say, You must be very lucky.
Lamb tilts his head, waiting.
To have found the only vampire in Las Vegas who’ll listen to your speeches.

You can’t just chase us, I say. We’re not storms. Or stories. We’re people.

We lay the food out on the bed. Were you planning on feeding an army? Shepard says.
I was planning on feeding Simon.

We’ll wait outside, I say, and watch the door. But you can’t leave with him this time. I want to add, And you can’t flirt.

How much did you hear?
Bunce takes the phone and plugs it into a charger. Enough to write a book called Vampires of the West.

Then he wraps his arm around my waist, and presses his head into my neck. Act like I’ve just picked you up. Act like you’re enchanted by me. Literally. (Ha- act. Someday I’ll laugh about this. Someyday maybe I’ll laugh about my whole awful life.)

Baz is holding on to his arm- clinging, really- and Lamb is leaning into him as if they’re going to kiss.
Oh
Right
Well
I clench my jaw and my fists. I guess this is what happens on first dates.

Two hours later, Penelope was lying down on the bed, eating champagne-flavoured jelly babies from the minibar. Welcome to the Vampire History Walking Tour, she said. Would you like an audio guide?
Shepard was taking notes on a hotel notepad. What? he’d said when Penny tried to take it away. These aren’t your secrets. They’re his.

He kept the conversation dancing- and then he left. He left with the vampire.
No, I said the phone.
Penny groaned. For fuck’s sake, Basilton.
Even Shepard was shocked. Never go to a second location with an untrustworthy Maybe- that’s rule number one! Or maybe rule number two. It’s a top-five rule!

Baz finishes adjusting his cuffs and collar, and turns away from the mirror. He really does look perfect. Whatever strange look he’s going for- Gothic pop star- it works for him.

She’s lying on one of the beds, wearing a pretty yellow sundress- Baz should pick out her clothes more often. (And he should never pick out mine. He brought me back a shirt with buttons. Like I work in a bank.)

(Are they vampires? Is everyone a vampire here? You’d think I’d know, from living with one. But it took me years of very close study to figure him out.)
Our suite is slightly more cheerful, at least. It’s only mostly black. The walls are the colour of Baz’s new shirt (maybe vampires love pink?)

Baz is standing in front of a full-length mirror, wearing- I swear to Merlin- a flowered suit. It’s some slick material, dark blue with blod-red roses. With a white shirt. No- a light pink shirt. When did he start wearing all these flowers?
You can’t be serious, I say.
He cocks an eyebrow at me in the mirror.
It’s perfect, Shepard says. Vampires are always way over the top.
Baz shifts his evil eye over to Shepard. No, it’s perfect because it’s perfect.

Bunce huffs. So we’re going to crash a vampire party and hope your charm attack works on them? ‘Hi, I’m Shepard, and I just want to be friends. Please tell me all your vampire secrets.’

So, Bunce says, what do you know about this hotel we’re headed to?
The Katherine? he says. It’s one of the vampire hotels. The oldest, I think. The parties there are infmaous- every night in the penthouse suite.
There are vampire hotels? Simon asks.
There are vampire everyting in Vegas, Shepard says.

He pulls into a campground, and all four of us bed down in the back of the truck, Penny between Simon and me, for safety.

Sometimes Simon kisses me like it’s the end of the world, and I worry he might believe that it is.

My favourite part of kissing Simon when he’s cold is the way he goes warm in my hands. Like I’m the living campfire. Like I’m the one who lives. I warm him in my arms, and then he warms me in his. He gives it all back to me.

Cold lips, cold mouth.
I’ve never heard Baz’s heartbeat.
And I’ve lain all night with my head on his chest.

I go where he wants. I take what I can get.
Can I? he asks.
Can you what, Simon? Kiss me? Kill me? Break my heart?
I tocuh him like he’s made of butterfly wings.
You don’t have to ask. I say it loud enough that he’ll hear me, over everyting.

I knock my face into his. I hang over him.
This is the point, the proximity, where I usually pull away.
Can I? I say, pressing in. I’m not sure he’ll hear me, over everything.

He points to the sky above us, black as pitch here in the desert and filled with twinkling stars. I see them, Snow, I’m not blind.

I try not to think about how long it’s been since I felt him like this. Against me, shoulder to knee. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll hold on too tight. I’ll do whatever I did in the first place to scare him away.

Come here.
Come on.
Please.
Give us this.

Simon takes my elbow. Ride with me, he says, looking at the place where his hand is touching my arm. There are stars.
His hair is hanging between us in wet ringlets. I lean forward and bump his head with mine. Yeah, I say. OK.
I can’t see him msile, but I think it’s there.

I put off school for a while. I’m going to go back when I know what I want to study. In the meantime, the road is my teacher.
The road. The road is your distraction, I’d wager. You’d learn more from the world if you knew more about the world.
Ha, that’s what my mom says.
Your mom is clearly cleverer than you.
No argument here. What’s your mom like?
Pfft.

Your friend’s just there, Shepard says, pointing through the front window. He’s flying.
I see the shadow on the pavement ahead of us- Simon, with his wings spread, his arrow of a tail stretched out behind him.
That lunatic, I whisper.

I can almost believe, ynder the sky- you’ve never seen sky so wide- that he and I will be fine, too. Him and me. We’re getting by, aren’t we? Mostly? Even with people trying us up and shooting at us.
We’re getting by. he keeps touching me, and I keep letting him.
Baz is touching me, and it’s good.
(Touching Baz is always good; it’d be easier if I could just touch him all the time.)

He tugs on my hand. Crowley, we’re bad at this. I can’t ever tell what Simon wants. Does that tug mean I like you ? Or is it Take care ? Or Give me my hand back ? I swear what it feels most like is I’m sorry. We can’t even hold hand without exchanging apologies.

Bunce and I spell her phone secret, or try, and call Agatha’s number. It goes straight to an automated voicemail. Agatha’s never recorded a personal message. (I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had been, Penelope, stop calling me. )

My face hurts. I’m lying on a rock.
I can’t move.
I can’t breathe!
No- I can. I can.

I can’t remember the last time I made a good decision. Maybe on the flight, when I chose cheesecake over strudel.

That was incredibly stupid of you, I say.
I know.
We could have killed you.
Right, I know.
We could still kill you, at any moment.
Trust me, he says. I get it.

And you- His hands are on my shoulders. His mouth is over mine.
I’m fine, I say, while he kisses me.
Crowley, if this is what it takes to keep Simon in my arms- gunshots and Quiet Zones and high-speed chases- I’m here for it. I’ll swear to it. I’ve found my vocation.
He pulls away, petting my hair down. Baz
Simon?
You smell like a dead merwolf.

What if he has a gun? I ask.
I’ll sit behind him and break his neck if I have to.
I forwn at baz – Do you know how to break someone’s neck? I should show you before we get in the car-

He pushes up his glasses. I could help you guys-
You’re the reason we need help! Penny shouts.

He turns back to Baz. I’ve never met a vampire.
I hope your luck holds, Baz replies.

How do you know – Baz is glaring at him- what you think you know about us? About magic?
Shepard smiles. (I wouldn’t be smiling in this situation.) People have told me. Other magic-Speakers.
Pfft, Penny says. Because you chased them into the wilderness and cornered them?

Where did the magic go?
There aren’t enough Normals here, he says. There’s no language to draw on. Nebraska’s one of the least magickal places in the country for people like you- why’d you leave the interstate?
Penny’s furious. To get away from you!

Hi, I say back.
Penelope is’ny having it. What do you want?!
The guy stratches his neck. He looks embarrassed. Nothing. I saw your, uh, show, in Omaha- and I wanted to talk to you.
So you chased us across Nebraska?

Pull over, I say.
Baz turns to me. Don’t you dare!
The lights flash on, then off. It’s slow. Deliberate.
Is it Morse code? Pennys asks, huddled between our seats.
I think it’s basic code for ‘Pull over,’ I say.